Over the weekend I was in Houston and went to the Premium Outlets. That is my confession. Okay, my real confession is that I bought stuff from brands I knew weren’t too ethical or conscious about their production and people. The damage: I bought a romper & one-piece swimsuit from Gap and also 5 Brandy Melville tops/sweaters & 1 NY sweater from an unfamiliar brand at PacSun.
The reason why I am sharing this seemingly meaningless but very close to heart confession is because I want this blog to be a journey about the good AND the bad including the mistakes I make as I learn more about being a conscious consumer, caring about my spending habits and becoming more aware of the people involved. I want to be as transparent and honest as possible!
So on my 2nd post about learning to be a conscious fashion consumer I have to tell you: I kind of really suck at this. I am somewhat aware because I’ve learned things but I haven’t made the things I’ve learned into habit. This weekend spending being a prime example.
At Gap Where I Found Super Cute Stuff
Here was my thought process at Gap. Oh! They’re doing 50% off all women clothes. Sweet~ I’ll look for a romper for my friend’s outside wedding in July because a) it’s going to be hot b) it might be windy and I don’t want to wear anything that has the potential to fly up and cause a disaster. I mean it makes perfect sense. Except I could honestly just wear one of my dresses that won’t fly up and is also sleeveless but that’s besides the point, right? So of course I find this absolutely adorable romper that is within my price range.
And then, oh! Look there’s a sale section. You never EVER skip a sale section. I wasn’t finding anything until I discovered the swimsuit section. I wonder if they have a one-piece swimsuits? I’ve totally been on the lookout cuz I’m not into the whole butt revealing bikini trend thing that’s going on right now. And of course, once again, I find a super cute one-piece swimsuit that is very flattering with a fun print. Must buy! It’s only $11.99 and just what I was looking for!
At PacSun Where I Was Blinded By My Wants
This was our last stop before the outlet mall closed and I was lightly browsing through the Brandy Melville section. I gathered an armful of random long sleeves and sweaters to just “try on.” While I was waiting for a fitting room I overheard the salesperson explain to a customer that they can grab another item with a blue sticker because they had a buy one get two free deal. Holy cow! That’s a good deal! I do a quick scan of the clothes in my arms and realize that all of them have a blue sticker. I run to the rack again to grab a few more tops logically thinking that I can always share with my sister and they’re not ENTIRELY for me. Then, I run to the front of the store to “double check” the signage that the sale was a real thing and I didn’t mishear anything. And that’s how I ended up with six tops & sweaters.
The Aftermath: Guilt
As we’re walking back to the car I started to feel a bit of buyer’s remorse and thought Oh crap, I bought WAYYY too much stuff! For about 20 minutes in the car the feeling kept growing: a mix of buyer’s remorse, regret, guilt and queasiness in my stomach. But at the same time I really liked the stuff I bought too much to give it up! #shame I was conflicted.
These were these thoughts running around in my mind:
Should I return them? I don’t even know if I can return outlet stuff at a regular store.
I feel like I won’t find anything like these and I really really really do like them.
What should I do? I’m so bad why do I do always do this?
I don’t want this journey to be a guilt-trip process for me or others. That is definitely not my intention at all. I don’t want to always be like oh man, the guilt and shame. There is no joy or freedom in that. I want to ‘fess up what needs to be confessed and share what’s cool, awesome, fun and exciting! I want to share what I am learning and how my perspective, attitude & habits are changing.
During the three days in Houston I got to see a beautiful rainbow every day! It was so awesome and unexpected. But I had forgotten the true reason behind a rainbow until I listened so a sermon podcast about Noah and his trust in God as he built the ark before the great flood. The rainbow is a sign of God’s promise that he will never again flood the earth. Although we fail him way too many times He wants to save us rather than destroy us because he loves us. I had forgotten about that awesome promise and who God is just like I had forgotten about my decision to becoming a kinder consumer. It doesn’t always come easy but Remember when wanting to forget. Press in rather than away. REMEMBER.